Orange Bottles


americandenial

translucent orange bottles,
unmistakable rattle,
No one has to know
They will tell me I do not need them.

Internal suffering hidden behind socially acceptable facial expressions.
Tell them how many activities you did,
how little rest you got,
you want to appear strong.
The answer to “how are you?” Is always “good!”

Dulled senses. Silence more enjoyable than music. Pleasure is a distant memory.

If functionality continues, your thoughts are inconsequential.
push the boundaries of your mind until it is so uncomfortable you can hardly bear it.
But do it with a smile.
There! Now you are doing it right!

The fallacy of society: strength is someone who suffers, does not take the “easy” way out.

I hide. I do not let them see. My arms and legs leaden. A parched mouth and cracking lips tolerated.
Too great is the energy expenditure required to reach a glass of water…

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There’s no I On The Street .. Just Survive n Live


 

In the brilliance of the night
screaming believers rage the streets of plenty
looking for holes in hope
needles and thread they carry in the plenty
band aids won’t help here ~ friends
there’s more than enough of the ill and the lost to live on
and here with the wheelers and dealers
the screaming believers and do gooders’ and not so good at doing much
Is someones little taste of paradise
thats all gone to shit

Down here with the lost and ill chills
There’s a taste for lost souls
Where the angels fly close to the ground
many a feather seen found
being worn in one of the lost crowns
For they are all Kings and Queens here

From times of once before and could have been and dreams
Yes dreams ~ There are dreamers here
those that will forever be lost in a dream
Mostly its nightmares and fallen frowns
that now blanket over once upon a time smiles

Here the smudged out blackbird eyes wear misery
thats been stubbed out like a coal bud
burnt down to its filter
to suck up the grease and shit on the street

Such is the movements of notes here
Conducted by the skinned boned pimps
that smile with croc teeth
hungry for fresh meat

Here is my street
here is where I was found
in the lost and found
here is where I lived my youth
taken by the smile of croc teeth
here is the place where I dreamed of escape
and lived nightmares
here is the place I will sometimes return
to remind me
life is priceless
dreams
can
come true
to get out
mine came with a price

Loss of life
the sentence
to carry for the term of my life

counting needles / ode to NT


Unreal this is wild ride reading n writes 💛🐝💛✨

megwaffling

one
dying spider
half crushed
as it crawled
across my face
a little voice
“stop
stop
it’s not too late”
a little voice
heard
too late

the sound of clattering
crashing
on the trolley
behind
a stumbling
of hands
/    was I sure
she was sure   /

yet
“oh you’re skinny
this will be easy”
still rang in my ears
as two
strangers
stood by my bed
my trust
in their hands

and three
anaesthetics
so quickly
administered
“can you feel this”
too quickly
asked
/    passed    /
then on
with counting

four, a twitch
five, a start
six, the air
now thick
with swears

seven

too
much
movement

eight

a plea
to at least
take a break

but nine

no
not possible
we’ll continue
just count
to 16
til the sobs
and gasps
bring one
kind face
to enquire
and make
the second
stop

“I can’t…

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Once Upon a Time Poem Imagine A Birds Song


image

once upon a time I fell from the nest
I landed on a street with brilliant neon winks
of crocodile eyes n smiles
But
there were beautiful n exoctic birds of the most unusual rise
that got caged by the Plovers
vicious species masks of blue
These lapwings of policing would try to make the beautiful birds talk
n then let them go again
24/7
these beautiful birds
of different names
Louise
Candy
May
Honey n Sky to name but a few
all of them brilliant
all of them different
never flew
their wings had been clipped
It’s true
they were the saddest lil birdies
but you’d never knew
they never spoke of this act
n always laughed n sang through time
just went about seeking what they could get
to survive
n only cried in a silence no one could hear

Many died
Injected with poison
Mainly from the crocodiles
their given names were all the same
A family named Pimps
Another kinda bird
the scavenger of types
like Vulture’s they flew around the streets
Looking for the naive the very young
prey
pretending to be Love
they didn’t tell the birds
the street was really a cage
A Giant cage within the systems cage
where all the wing clipped beautiful genteel n fragile of birds
were beaten n mistreated to engage
in acts of brutality upon them

I miss them all
those birds who were my friends
some
only a very few got away

n I now sing a song
my friend from this street
who saved me
before she died
sang to me each night
when I thought I would die n never learn to sing
Imagine

 

Dream I Am


IMAG3288

 

Touched by the misty mornings light
kisses whispered across my blue eyes
with surprise I am looking out of myself
looking down at me in my dream

I am the sky
looking now into my eyes
white clouds drift on by
An extraordinary view of me lays below
so vast am I now spreading out of myself
I become the sea that is mirrored
in my blue blue eyes

I look deep within
and see I am now
but a mere speck of myself
I close my eyes
as white soft tides of surf
brings me ~ back in

Abandonment


image

sparse not white
hollow no echo
vast
humming
the soundless hum of air
trapped
with no bars
a hostage
of denial
less than
two feet from reach
I could have been on the moon
how many distances
have passed between us
and I like an ant
and they above in a plane perhaps
look down
and see a multitude of specks
Im so small
inside and out
smaller than an ant
and time is enormous
in the abandonment
distance and time
can be as close
as you and I

Full Moon Rising


image

Against your night
my skin so pale
this cold wind
bitter spiteful
jealous wind
finds its way
inside me

Between the spaces
of my cage
my heart
a fallen moon
pale
frozen
only the dark side
of me knows you
my night
and begs you now

Swallow me whole
into your darkness
let me feel
your velvet heart
beating
against my cage

Break this spell
that stole my heart
and froze it
for eternity
let the dark syrup of your eyes
fill my veins

You are my blood line
my first breath
my first taste
my velvet night

As I reach out
into your darkness
I feel your pulse
charging my heart
You fill me with life
So that I am
Rising
Full Moon
once again
to turn the tides
for lovers hearts
will be mine tonight