The Priests have Nun on what they’ve done The Molestation of Trust ssh

Dedicated to the #CatholicChurch #Australia Moms the Word

n Kids No one will believe you n don’t forget Satans listening to everything you say

at night he lays beneath your bed Tell anyone what has been done

Your family will burn n you’ll go to hell

Everyday I dig a little deeper

Insane now for the pain
I let it spill out
with no care about the mess
I was so particular
about the slightest flaw

my secrets lived alone with me
myself
and I
To be so alone
to live so lonely
so angry
n seal it with a permanent smile

is a distance
that can never be reach
there is nothing here
in this secret place
barred with razor wired teeth
Points and frowns
where nightmares are made of brand new days
where nights are a burial of fear

There is no safe
there is no place
for this is not a memory
a photo of keepsake
a past to look back on
a shared happening in history
a party breaker
a conversation maker

This is a place called shame
this is my name
I am to remove myself from society
place myself as the garbage I am
and at no cost involve myself with life
I gave up these rights when I gave birth to life

and don’t I ever dare to think of indulging myself
with grandeur ideas
of thinking I could even possibly be forgiven
for committing such an immoral act
young single and pregnant
SLAP GOOD GOD GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!
Oh thats right You don’t think do you
Your trash dumb stupid bad simpleminded slut
all That can be forgiven
but YOU You and YOU
Pregnant…. single No family
No no no
Mothers do not
are not
made of such beginnings

For me the force of my pregnancy and for many
was the beginning of my end
all over within seconds with my No meaning Yes
An alcoholic beverage
filled with drugs for leverage
was the daddy long legs
a spider that decided my fate
No meant Yes
Terrified
was asking for more
I
cried
were tears of Joy
After which wrapped in his web
kept for a undetermined time
where i escaped
and begged and begged and begged
for help
as my belly
got to big for my belt
I was ignored
and ignored
and ignored

until I gave birth
and the clucky nuns
who had a list of good moms
paid visit to the farms
where
moms to breed
were left in rooms
with signs stating
Isolation Do Not Enter Diseases
New moms who had no families
homeless fearful vulnerable
first timers mothers
with no where to go …..

this is the place and the time
for many

for some who escaped
we were finally caught
there must have been a silent nod
that it was only a matter of time
we would be found

Trickery manipulation of situations
would be used to the max
to pry from clinging arms
the gold bar of life
the child

There is no way no thing no say
that can erase the loss the grief
of a child that is taken away

Within your body and mind
the power and control
grinds it way throughout
your day and nights
and you dare not move
not a thought is removed
You stay for the rest of your life
In that day that year that time
that your chid your baby was taken

By You Society You the Nurses the Doctors the Police the Welfare
Your System Your G0d the all Mighty Catholicism of Godly deeds Moral Justly and Rights
Set to be the authority on Care of life
whats good whats wrong whats right

Before you existed I was told my own blood
had stained my families snow white sheet
By five
I was named
Little bitch
so easy for you
wasn’t it Sister Mary Merry Nun
you knew of this seed
and did nothing to stop the growth
you kept on sowing
the misery the abuse violence the naive the vulnerable minds of life

My shame
you said
should never be said
You stole my child
and threw me out
trash
you said
Moms the word
you be silent or your child will be hurt

and now
Look at me
the adult I am
thinking now
I have these rights
but where and how and what to…
God only knows
after what shame
and secrets do
right …
what rules apply I wonder
wen having to be your own psych
for no one not even God has made contact
since you announced that what you did was wrong
that You are
Sorry ………

I take another stab at getting my head around your sorry
and what this means
am I allowed to say
I am a mother now
or was a mother
Is ?
my child an adult now
this child of mine
has been abused and shamed too
how could you
and your sorry
and
that one Hurts
I’ve not looked at this
since
you stole from me

did they the sorry ones think about all this
when
they said sorry
did they think
about all those burials
mothers burying their babies
births alive in their minds
All the Lies and secrets told
to a world of life
the self denial
when asked if a mother
what to say No No No I am shame shit and lame
I cant tell anyone that i am a mother
am I
what I am

Did you give thought to what we say now
to the world ?

as nuns you were allowed to keep your habit
just change the cosmetics
blend in with life
wear sneakers sunnies and hats
that slide across your lying eyes
so nobody can tell
you apart from hell

Now Im in hell
on earth
this very moment
Im looking at a multitude of
ways to get my head around
your sorry
your flakey blakey sorry
fuck you
you liar
pants on fire
I never grew up
you stunted my growth
your a cancer without
the fag
Oh fag lets talk about fags
you have done your fucking best there too
haven’t you Oh Catholic Mighty One
No God would steal the child from the mother
you Mother fuckers
you fucking cunts of habit
you poofta bashed your sermons
used a brainwash of hell and shame
with the vulnerable and gentle
You made our names a stain

You gave us no choice
with your gangs of bent morals
To believe
I was bad
a disease
fit for no life
I have hid in the shadows
fearing motherhood relationship friends career love life god ME
I fear Me

When you stole my child
you stole my soul
my spirit died
committed suicide
and
your
sorry

Abandonement

sparse not white
hollow no echo
vast
humming
the soundless hum of air
trapped
with no bars
a hostage
of denial
less than
two feet from reach
I could have been on the moon
how many distances
have passed between us
and I like an ant
they above in a plane perhaps
look down
and see a multitude of specks
Im so small
inside and out
smaller than an ant
and time is enormous
in the abandonment
distance and time
can be as close
as you and I

The Psychiatrist Baby Grand Therapy

for years

she played his Baby Grand

Therapy

stuck in the corner
of the room
teeth polished smile
beckoned
the therapist question
Can you play?

He notes n nods
In a waste paper basket
sometimes
falling asleep
as snorted lines
bleeds out his nose
SCREAMS of
I’m alright
Don’t go outside
Leave me alone
Then
continue and play my Baby Grand
Therapy
Play me a lullaby

he falls back again
in a nodding of sleep
n after a long whiles
she’s able to leave
fingers numbed
with script

lips sealed
the reception greeting is cold
their eyes
just glass stares
Of we don’t cares
paper work signs
n perhaps a mumbled
See You Next Time.
for patient confidentiality
is doctors número rule.
Break it n
we Break you

Two Poems

The Birth of Tomorrow

Above
epileptic blue
The mouth of the sky opens out
to a flow of white clouds drifting
our mind dreams the pregnancy of a new day
falling
falling
like a soft rain we hold on
to the embryo
of tomorrow’s
with new hope
for today

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Lemon Scented Night

A lemon scented night
for a quarter of a moon
priceless treasures
my first perfume kindles within memories
of sun bleached and tangled hair
peeling nose burning bright like rudolph
Christmas trees and houses all alight
a bonfire of sparks
electricity and excitement
the crackling of the air

Seaweed green and slimy beards
hanging off our chins
like a volcanic eruption
laughter flowed lava from deep down within
Our legs would feel like jelly

Sand warm and soft between the toes
castles buckets spades and motes
walks along cliff tops
singing songs
talking to yourself
to a friend imaginary or not
we reeled the real

Our child hood became part of the scenery
we were oblivious to the world
blackberries cooking
in a pot of sun we would all squeal Yum!
with mouths pouting purple bruising prose of pose
our bellies stuffed we’d head for home
on the way
looking for shells
we knew which ones were best we could just tell
cuttle fish for its ink is blue
still learning to say I love you ~ I love you
We wrote it in the sand with sticks

Long white sheets
who’s a scary ghost
riding push bikes really really fast
climbing up the gum trees
smoking cigarettes hanging upside down so the world looked like one big frown
iced buns and mums call don’t fall
riding He’s a Giant Ten Hands Stallion Tall bareback no fear at all
and a lemon scented night …………………………………………………………………………………………………..