This Is My Shit


although I have issues

have been incarcerated
been judged by jury
bashed in fury
raped in ripples
till I’ve been no more
than an emotional cripple

although I have been
abused and accused
told I was challenged
by my mental lack
or wish
to conform
Have a great mistrust of the little white sheep in their blue controls
Keep turning
My key backwards
to the systems connections
Won’t recognize there razor back ways
to corrections
spent most of my time
in solitary

although all
I write because I am and can ` I also paint too
but that don’t make me everything I do
and although all through
Im everything above Im also none of it
Im so much more
some days
so much less
on others
and writing Shit Yes helps
and writing Shit doesn’t help
Nor does it hurt
but I don’t
like the idiots
that think
its because
I’ve been abused
and I have abused
oh yes I have
to survive
you’ll be amazed what you can do
and wont do
and have to do
and don’t do
and the system thinks this is an ok do
for me for you
That i can write my shit too


I shake my head to all who state this claim as theirs
That because I didn’t fucking wind up state mental stamped and mad
That somehow now my claim to fame
is that I survived
and now Im cool
No longer called a fool
and thought that I write
because of my life tools
No one should have this shit to write
No one should have to fight
No one should have to be raped till they ripple
emotionally mindful of a wheelchaired crippled mental state
I don’t write because of above
and I don’t write because of below
I write because I can and am and do
But no one should have to write about shit
But this is my shit
and all of it I can do

Posted by beezknez
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The Wreck

she lays beneath the car
in the dark
seven months pregnant
she thinks
I’ve gotta find another place DSCF0712
my belly won’t fit
make it next time
she lays very still
quiet … the song by Sting
starts to play in her mind
‘Everything You ….
it’s done this now each time
since she took to hiding herself
laid out beneath the car

She can hear his footsteps
his steel cap boots crunch
across the coldness of gravel sounds
he’s standing right next to the car now
n Her Heartbeats So Loud
How can he not hear her heart
she’s going to cry
forces with all the will not to
n as she swallows
try’s to control any sound
her fingers are numb with the cold air
legs are feeling cramp
oh Please Please don’t now get the cramp
she swears he’ll hear her heart beating
if he stops all his yelling n swearing
calling her to come out

She thinks to herself
I’ve become good at this
Just play your part she tells herself
she is an actress
like Angelina Jolie
your a spy … she tells herself this is your part
I must be convincing
If he finds you everyone in the world
will die
it’s up to me she tells herself
to save the world
I can do this She assures herself
now what’s he doing
why won’t he just go back inside
so she can make her escape

I know your here you can’t hide forever
come out now n I won’t burn down the house
while your family sleeps Come on now
You know I’m good for my word

ShutUp …a voice calls out in the night there’s people trying to sleep here
Get Fucked … He swears back
at the invisible voice
or I’ll come n cut your farking tongue out Now
He lights a cigarette
Stands looking up at the sickle of the moon
as though in great thought reflections
and takes a long drag
filling his lungs with the smoke
blows it out coughing
n starts a manic laugh and part singing
Puff the Magic Dragon
lived by the sea …
Come on baby See what your doing here
your keeping all these good people up
your causing troubles for them
They got work in the morning
n I’ve got my work too
with you
come out darling come out
where ever you are …
COME FARKING OUT … NOW he screams flicks his butt
starts moving forward
searching the bushes using his butcher knife
to part them as he looks

He comes back
leans against the car she is still hiding
laying beneath
she is saying silent prayers
to God the Universe Angels The Devil … who Cares
As long as he doesn’t look beneath the car
Or walks away
Yes she feels the panic n nausea rise within her
perhaps he’ll look back
see her silhouette laying beneath hiding
she is starting to panic what if what if …. ssh be still be quiet your invisible

He Kicks the car Thumps it with his fist Bitch Farking Stupid Farking Bitch
she has wet her pants with fear
Did she scream then … Oh god oh god she’s not sure did she make a sound
he’s gone so quiet
….If I didn’t know better you farking cow
He walks around n around the car as he talks
Slow long meaningful steps
your probably hiding like a snivelling cunt
beneath one of these CARS RIGHT NOW he screams out
but your Too Farking Fat for that aren’t you baby
n too farking dumb

He Screams to the night air

If I find out any of You Cunts are hiding her with you
Yep Yep Yep he eyes each n every flats window out
to see if a curtain a venetian blind moves
I reckon that’s what’s happening here Yep
You Lying Cheating Lowlifes
She’s a born liar you know
You Really want to put yourself your love ones lives at risk
FOR HER he screams out
Well let me tell you now
I ant gona let You Just Be
She will be your reckoning
He Spells out Clear what he means by this
Got It … Right
He pulls a set of keys out
of his pocket
opens the car door
n hops inside
places his knife between his legs
Keys in the ignition
he lets down the window
I’ll be back to get you baby
Got all the time in the world for you
Laughing he turns the ignition
she lays as always
as still as can be

is her tummy too big
n as always … will he turn the wheels
a moment too soon ….

Recycling Life’s Child

chinese burns image
dunking heads in
water holes
scraped knees
climbing trees
carpet burns
grass stains
tears n tantrums
wagging school
blowing thistle
daisy chains
n pulling petals
of love me dos
n knots of rope
on swings of tyre
all these things
were made to recycle

laughter innocence

should not these be the things

of priceless treasures