A State of Mind – Alzheimer’s


Image

stretched

my limits now ride like a limousine

the passenger

a raw nerve

of what I used to be

I watch myself

in the revision mirror

holding onto the line

a crow has made a furrow

across my forehead

anxiety shadows

the black sobs of sorrow

I paint

as to each I tell the story

in lost hope

that I may reach the care centre

the heart line of hope

this sad fucking hope I hold onto

knowing all they tell are lies

I want to scream

at these pimps

that feed me their lines

asking me to cry

makes them feel needy

they prostitute

my mothers voice

I internalise through mine

finally the advocate

the devil itself

says Yes

Yes

How can i help you

a voice older than mine

could be my mothers age

but devils choice

you hear what you want to hear

Im being skinned alive

like an apple, cored

He sticks his finger through my eye

making me cry this grief

I feel inside

then smiles a word or two

and says

Im sorry

You need to ring another line

we don’t offer the kind of hope your after here

things are not meant to be easy child

didn’t your mother teach you anything

its all rather complicated you see

and after all

you need to be

in the right state

and at the moment

your a long way from here

another time

and we’ll see you then but for now

your your mothers voice

and she is displaced

in the lost and found of time

and no one

not even daughters can change

a state of mind

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